Seddie songfics
by jamiewalsh
Summary: Each chapter is based on a different song that relates to Seddie. Hope you enjoy! Seddie ftw! :D
1. Introduction Please Read!

**A/N: Hey everyone, jamiewalsh here to bring you another story.**

**I recently created a playlist on my iPod that contains songs that I think can relate to Seddie, so I decided I'd write oneshots based on the songs and put them together into a multi-chapter fanfic.**

**Each chapter is a different song, and like I said, they're oneshots, so they don't go together.**

**I highly recommend listening to the songs while reading the fics. Just look up a lyrics video online and listen as you read. And I know I don't include the chorus or bridge every time they sing it, but obviously it'll get repetitive if I do, so don't complain if I leave out the chorus after it's sang for the third time.**

**Some have sexual undertones, so the entire story is rated T. I really hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I'm disclaiming from the very beginning.**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE SONGS USED IN THESE CHAPTERS, NOR DO I OWN iCARLY!**

**There, that's a lot easier than disclaiming for each chapter. Lol**


	2. Himerus and Eros

**Himerus and Eros**  
><strong>By The Spill Canvas<strong>

**Freddie's POV**

**_You're captivating while evading  
><em>_All the questions I have for you like  
><em>"_What exactly what makes you tick?"  
><em>_When the guilt sets in, tell me  
><em>_What are we going to do?_**

Every day my mind turns to you. I rely on you to help me through the day. If it weren't for you, I wonder how many things would be different. You may not realize, but my world revolves around you. You abuse me and pretend to hate me, but I know deep down, you're aware of the effect you have on me.

**_Your tongue is wet with top-secret passion.  
><em>_I hope I am the cause of it.  
><em>_I'll navigate this unsturdy vessel  
><em>_Through a soft sea of pillows and blankets_.**

After one kiss with you, I was hooked. I want to be the man to make you feel beautiful, to tell you everyday how perfect you are, to kiss you every morning and make your day wonderful.

**_And I fight the urge to explore  
><em>_The vastness of your curves I adore.  
><em>_You know I hate you.  
><em>_No, I hate you more.  
><em>_You know I love you.  
><em>_No, I love you more_.**

You're so beautiful, it haunts my memories long after we leave each other. To keep away from you is agony. I keep up the façade that we hate each other, but underneath it, I love you to pieces.

**_Yes it's true.  
><em>_You brainwashed me  
><em>_And now I'm more confused.  
><em>_I still somehow hope I end up with you.  
><em>_Yes it's true.  
><em>_I romanticize every single thing I do,  
><em>_Especially when it comes to you._**

How did this happen? You're Sam Puckett, the girl who tortured me through grade school, and yet somehow I cling to the prayer that one day you'll be mine. Everything I do is to try to show you that I love you, more than I thought humanly possible.

**_I've sunken in the quicksands of love,  
><em>_And I don't want you to rescue me.  
><em>_Screw what my supposed friends think.  
><em>_It's obvious they reek of jealousy.  
><em>_It's obvious they reek of jealousy._**

I love being in love with you. Some people feel sick when they love someone, but I don't. I love the feelings you give me. The butterflies when I see you, the happiness when I hear you laugh, the goosebumps when you touch me, the fireworks when we kiss. They're all wonderful, and they all further remind me that I want to be with you. And when I see other guys stare at you, I want to kill them. I know you're beautiful, but it doesn't mean I want other guys staring at you the way they do. I can practically hear the vulgar thoughts in their head.

**_I hope to god I mean a little more  
><em>_Than the sounds that escape your tired 4 am lips.  
><em>_Oh, how I wish I meant a little more  
><em>_Than a symphony of heavy breathing and the friction of hips._**

I don't know how you feel about me, but I don't want sex. I don't want pure physical romance. I want you and all you have to offer. You mean more to me than you do to any of those animals at school. I know the real you.

**_Yes it's true.  
><em>_You brainwashed me  
><em>_And now I'm more confused.  
><em>_I still somehow hope I end up with you.  
><em>_Yes it's true.  
><em>_I romanticize every single thing I do,  
><em>_Especially when it comes to you._**


	3. Mood Rings

**Mood Rings**  
><strong>By Relient k<strong>

**(Freddie's POV)  
><strong>**(Set during iLost My Mind)**

**_We all know the girls that I am talking about.  
><em>_Well, they are time bombs, and they are ticking,  
><em>_And the only question's when they'll blow up.  
><em>_And they'll blow up, we know that without a doubt,  
><em>_Cuz they're those girls, yeah, you know those girls  
><em>_That let their emotions get the best of them._**

Oh, the abuse I suffered over the years at your hands. I wish I could say I hated it, but after awhile, I enjoyed it, because it meant being the center of your attention. I would mock you, tease you, insult you, just hoping I could push you over the edge and make you explode in a burst of passion and rage. You never did properly learn how to control your emotions, but, I must admit, a part of me is glad of that.

**_And I've contrived some sort of a plan  
><em>_To help my fellow man.  
><em>_Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings,  
><em>_So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off,  
><em>_Cuz we'll know just what they're thinking,  
><em>_Just what they're thinking._**

Not a day goes by where I don't have at least one moment where I wish I could see into that pretty blonde head of yours and see what you're actually thinking. Then I would know how to treat you that day, how much teasing I can get away with, if you like me back… Everything would be so much easier if I were able to read minds like that stupid vampire in those terrible books you and Carly read. Y'know, the one I dressed up as for the vampire spoof on iCarly. Did you like it as much as our female fans did? Because no matter how many girls hit on me because of that sketch, you were always in the back of my mind, wishing it had impressed you enough to put things between us in motion.

**_She's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way.  
><em>_Her mood's out swinging on the swing-set almost everyday.  
><em>_She said to me that she's so happy it's depressing  
><em>_And all I said was someone get that girl a mood ring._**

And then one day, things changed. You changed. Suddenly you weren't teasing me as much. You were actually… nice to me. You wanted to hang out with me. Well, me and Brad. And when I found out you were in love, thanks to Moodface, I was disappointed when I believed it was Brad. I dragged my feet and even gave a whiny "whyyyy" when Carly said she was gonna make it happen between you and Brad. I wanted you to myself, but at the same time, I wanted you to be happy. And if you would be happy with someone who wasn't me, then I'd rather live in my own misery.

**_If it's drama you want, then look no further.  
><em>_She's like the Real World meets Boy Meets World meets Days of Our Lives.  
><em>_And it just kills me how they get away with murder.  
><em>_They'll anger you then bat their eyes,  
><em>_Those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize._**

Your eyes. I stared into them as I gave that speech about making a move. I've always loved them, and I'd hoped to one day be able to look into them as I told you I loved you and see love coming back at me. But I never dared imagine it could come true. It was always a silly daydream.

Until you kissed me. Then it all became real. I was shocked and concerned, but thrilled. I had no idea how to express it though, not sure if you were doing it to shut me up because you knew I liked you or if you wanted me to kiss back. So I stood like a statue, frozen to the pavement as you kissed me. I wish I had said more that night than just "It's cool," but I was still stuck in idiot mode.

Now here we are in Troubled Waters Mental Hospital, because you think you're insane for liking me, when really, I think we're just two kids who fell in love.

**_Cuz when it's black, means watch your back because you're probably  
><em>_The last person in the world right now she wants to see._**

I know you don't want me to be here visiting you. You yell at me to get out as you hold your hand over Carly's mouth, but I refuse. We need to talk about this.

**_And when it's blue, it means that you should call her up immediately  
><em>_And ask her out because she'll most likely agree.  
><em>_And when it's green, it simply means that she is really stressed,  
><em>_And when it's clear, it means she's completely emotionless  
><em>_And that's alright, I must confess._**

I will deal with any of your emotions, no matter how silly or insane. When you're happy, I'll laugh with you and make sure you enjoy being with me as much as I enjoy being with you. When you're stressed, I'll stroke your hair and kiss you anxieties away. When you're emotionless, I'll try to turn that little ring red with love or purple with comfort.

**_We all know the girls that I am talking about.  
><em>_She liked you Wednesday, but now it's Friday,  
><em>_And she has to wash her hair.  
><em>_And it just figures that we'll never figure them out.  
><em>_Well, first she's Jekyll, and then she's Hyde.  
><em>_At least she makes a lovely pair._**

I don't know what you're feeling right now, but it's the middle of our weekly iCarly shoot and I plan to make it known to the world how I feel about you. I kiss you passionately, live and on-camera for everyone to see.

**_Mood ring, oh mood ring,  
><em>_Oh tell me, will you bring the key  
><em>_To unlock this mystery  
><em>_Of girls and their emotions.  
><em>_Play it back in slow-motion  
><em>_So I may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind._**

And I feel you kiss back with a subtle smile on your face, and I know you're mine at last.


	4. Can't Make You Love Me

**Can't Make You Love Me**  
><strong>By Britney Spears<strong>

**Sam's POV**

**_I'm just a girl with a crush on you.  
><em>_Don't care about money.  
><em>_It doesn't give me half the thrill  
><em>_To the thought of you, honey.  
><em>_So tell me that you want me still._**

I love you. I have since 9th grade when we kissed for the first time. We finally got together towards the end of 10th grade, and we've been together since. But once we graduated and Carly made it as an actress and I made it as a comedian, things were different. Strained, if you will. I miss the way things were. I don't want things to feel different between us just because of my work. Do you still love me?

**_If only I could trade the fancy cars  
><em>_For the chance today,  
><em>_It's incomparable.  
><em>_I might be sitting with the movie stars.  
><em>_Everybody says that I have it all._**

It looks like I have a dream life. I wished to one day get out of my mother's house and make it on my own, and I really did. But if I had the chance, I'd throw it all away if it would keep you here.

**_But I can't make you love me.  
><em>_Is it my life or the things I do?  
><em>_I can't make you love me.  
><em>_I'm just a girl with a crush on you._**

I wonder how much you really care about me if I can't make you stay. But you don't want to. I can't force you to stay, but I still love you, and that should be enough.

**_I have been through changes,  
><em>_But I'm still the girl you used to know.  
><em>_It's made me no different,  
><em>_So tell me why you had to go._**

We're still the same Sam and Freddie we've always been. I still have butterflies when you kiss me, and it takes me back to the fire escape where we first kissed and the mental hospital where we became a couple. You still make me laugh and feel like the happiest girl in the world. Only our surroundings are different. Please, don't do this.

**_Just the thought of being close to you.  
><em>_It's incomparable.  
><em>_Should be happy with the life I live  
><em>_And the things I do.  
><em>_Seems like I have it all._**

I love my career and what I do for a living, but none of it means anything if I don't have you to share it with. I love you. Please stay here with me.

**_Can't make you, make you love me, baby.  
><em>_It's my life, what can I do?  
><em>_I can't make you love me.  
><em>_I'm just a girl with a crush on you._**

**_Can't make you love me.  
><em>_Is it my life or the things I do?  
><em>_I can't make you love me.  
><em>_I'm just a girl with a crush on you._**

**_I'm just a girl with a crush on you._**


	5. Grenade

**Grenade**  
><strong>By Bruno Mars<strong>

**Freddie's POV**

**_Easy come, easy go.  
><em>_That's just how you live.  
><em>_Oh, take, take, take it all, but you never give._**

Selfish. That's what you are. You always have been, and I knew that, and I stupidly expected you to change. It was always all about you.

**_Should've known you were trouble from the first kiss.  
><em>_Had your eyes wide open.  
><em>_Why were they open?_**

I know the thought of it probably sickened you, but our first kiss meant something to me. You probably didn't feel anything and I know you kept your eyes open. You could have tried to feel something, but you didn't. You put on your brave fake plastic face, just like you always do when you're afraid to be genuine.

**_Gave you all I had,  
><em>_And you tossed it in the trash,  
><em>_You tossed it in the trash, you did._**

So after all those times I told you I loved you, did you just run over to Carly's and laugh about what an idiot I am? How dumb I am? How ridiculous it is for me to think I could possibly win you over?

**_To give me all your love was all I ever asked,  
><em>_Cuz what you don't understand is_**

**_I'd catch a grenade for you.  
><em>_Throw my hand on a blade for you.  
><em>_I'd jump in front of a train for you.  
><em>_You know I'd do anything for you.  
><em>_I would go through all of this pain,  
><em>_Take a bullet straight through my brain.  
><em>_Yes, I would die for you, baby,  
><em>_But you won't do the same._**

Are you even aware of what I would do for you? I would do absolutely anything. In high school, I gave away the School at Sea trip to Missy, just so she'd go away and leave you alone. And since then, it has spiraled out of control to the point where I would literally die for you. And you don't even care.

**_Black, black, black and blue,  
><em>_Beat me till I'm numb.  
><em>_Tell the devil I said "hey" when you get back to where you're from._**

You really are the blonde-headed demon I always thought you were. You play with my emotions and tangle my puppet strings, just so you can watch me struggle to get out. It's a wicked web you weave, Sam, and I hate it.

**_Mad woman, bad woman.  
><em>_That's just what you are.  
><em>_Yeah, you'd smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car._**

You don't care what happens to me, so why do I even still bother? All I get out of being with you is heartache and scars. Why put myself through this suffering. I do it because I love you. Man, I really am stupid.

**_If my body was on fire,  
><em>_You'd watch me burn down in flames.  
><em>_You said you loved me, you're a liar,  
><em>_Cuz you never ever ever did, baby._**

I guess what you said for all those years was true: you do hate me. You must, because this definitely isn't the way you treat someone you love. And yet I stay, because what I feel is pure. It's real. It may be idiotic and immature and naïve, but I love you. Unfortunately.

**_But darling, I'd still catch a grenade for you.  
><em>_Throw my hand on a blade for you.  
><em>_I'd jump in front of a train for you.  
><em>_You know I'd do anything for you.  
><em>_I would go through all of this pain,  
><em>_Take a bullet straight through my brain.  
><em>_Yes, I would die for you, baby,  
><em>_But you won't do the same._**

I don't think you really care about me. Please prove me wrong.


	6. Crush

**Crush  
><strong>**By David Archuleta**

**Sam's POV**

Yet another stupid dance. Why is it that whenever the school thinks we need to socialize more, they think the cure is to herd us all into the gym like a bunch of barn animals and make us drink punch and dance in uncomfortable shoes for 3 hours? I hate being in school during the day. Must I really come back here at night and suffer even more?

Sorry if I seem even more obnoxious than usual. I just recently came to a rude awakening that I'm terrified of. I realized that… well, it seems that perhaps… I may have a bit of a crush on a certain technical stooge.

I know, right? It's so weird! And yet it happened! It seems like there should be a sign, like the one at the front of amusement park rides. "You must be this unnubby for Sam Puckett to find you suitable as a boyfriend." Clearly Benson would be so far under the line. He's such a nub! And yet…

I know it's strange, but according to Carly, it's been a long time coming. Naturally, I'm blaming him for getting all strong and tall and defensive… and hot…

GAH! What am I thinking? I must be on drugs or something.

Well, all I can hope is that this will go away. It's just a crush. It doesn't mean anything. It'll get over whatever illness I must be suffering from and he'll go back to being the stupid nub he always was.

But at the same time… things have changed between us. He's not just someone I have to work with for Carly's sake. We're actually… friends now. I talk to him on the phone regularly, sometimes not even for a reason; we'll just call one another to say hi. We sometimes hang out outside of school or iCarly without Carly. We've been to the movies together. We go over to each other's houses. We go to Groovy Smoothie together a lot. It used to be because he bought me smoothies, but now I go for the free smoothie and for his company.

It's disgusting how much I enjoy spending time with him. And now that enjoyment has turned into a yearning for more. I want to go to the movies with him and he'll want to put his arm around me willingly. I want him to buy me a smoothie not because he's nice, but because that's what a boyfriend does for their girlfriend. I want to end our phone conversations with us saying "I love you."

So you see, it's quite the conundrum. I supposedly hated this guy for years, and now I'm suddenly in love with him. It's a serious problem. All I can hope is that this feeling will go away.

Anyways, back to my original topic: the dance. I'm peeved enough because of my big problem, and now I'm being dragged to this dumb dance just because Carly wants to go. And stupid nubby Freddie is gonna be there too and I've been doing my best to avoid him at all costs since I came to my realization a week ago.

The only times I've had to see him was at iCarly rehearsals and even then I avoided talking to him, and as soon as it was done, I left.

That stupid dance is tonight and now I'm gonna have to face him and pretend like I still find it annoying when he speaks. Although I must admit, sometimes it is annoying, but only because I wish those lips were doing something else besides talking about stupid geeky stuff… Argh! Those are the bad thoughts that I need to stop.

He called me for the fifth time this week last night and for the first time left a message. Normally if he gets my voicemail, he'll just call me back later, but I guess he realized I was screening his calls and he left me a message.

"_Hey, Sam. It's Freddie, just calling you for the umpteenth time this week. I don't know what I did wrong, but if I made you mad or offended you in any way, I'm really sorry. I just want you to talk to me again. Please call me back. Miss you."_

Stupid dork… Of course he automatically assumes it's something he did. He must just assume that my entire life revolves around him and that if I'm mad at him, it's because he did something and not because I'm messed up in the head. Grr… I need a fatcake.

###

Carly made me wear a stupid blue dress with horribly uncomfortable white high heels, so now I'm even more annoyed. And the worst part is that I look good, so I don't even have the right to complain about it.

So here I am, standing awkwardly with Carly, Wendy, and a few other girls we know from school. They're all talking and gossiping, and I just want to leave.

And out of the corner of my eye, I see him coming over to us. Fredlumps Benson, looking amazing in a collared maroon shirt with formal dark blue jeans and a black tie. Why does he have walk over here and ruin my perfectly terrible time? Now I might actually enjoy myself because I'll get to look at him.

He says hi to all the girls, skillfully ignoring the flirtatious eyelash-batting from Wendy's friends, and touches my arm. "Can I talk to you?" he asks quietly.

I'm about to refuse when Carly pushes me along with him, throwing me off balance and allowing him to drag me with him. I turn to give her an evil glare, but she just smirks and goes back to her conversation with Wendy.

He takes me a few feet away where nobody's dancing and tries to get me to tell him what's wrong. I tell him everything's fine, but I avoid his eyes at all costs, because I know if I look into those gorgeous brown eyes, it'll all be over. I'll do something stupid and I'll never be able to talk to him again or go to school or do anything social. I'll be humiliated and I'll have to hide under my covers for the rest of eternity.

A song starts over the stereo and I immediately recognize it as a David Archuleta song. He'd hit it big ever since winning that competition show that Carly and I helped get him votes for, and this was easily his biggest song.

_**I hung up the phone tonight.  
><strong>__**Something happened for the first time.  
><strong>__**Deep Inside  
><strong>__**It was a rush. What a rush.  
><strong>__**Cuz the possibility  
><strong>__**That you could ever feel the same way about me  
><strong>__**Is just too much, just too much.**_

I get small goosebumps. I love this song, and it's so romantic, and here I am standing with the guy of my dreams, trying to make it seem like I'm totally fine and not in love with him at all.

_**Why do I keep running from the truth?  
><strong>__**All I ever think about is you.  
><strong>__**You've got me hypnotized,  
><strong>__**So mesmerized  
><strong>__**And I just got to know…**_

He touches my arm again and shakes me gently, because I've frozen in fear of the awkward situation I'm in. I feel electricity as he touches my arm, and I know that I need to get away from him before I do something really dumb. I shake his hand off without another word and walk back in the direction of the girls.

_**Do you ever think  
><strong>__**When you're all alone  
><strong>__**All that we could be?  
><strong>__**Where this thing could go?  
><strong>__**Am I crazy or falling in love?  
><strong>__**Is it real or just another crush?  
><strong>__**Do you catch your breath when I look at you?  
><strong>__**Are you holding back  
><strong>__**Like the way I do?  
><strong>__**Cuz I try and try to walk away,  
><strong>__**But I know this crush ain't going away.**_

I stop walking halfway through the chorus, knowing how much this song identifies my relationship with Freddie. Carly gives me a strange look and mouths some words to me, asking if I'm okay. I nod and turn to walk back to Freddie. I have to tell him.

I stop in front of him as the second stanza begins and he gives me a concerned look. As soon as I see those eyes, I know my heart is gone. David's right; this crush ain't going away.

_**Has it ever crossed your mind  
><strong>__**When we're hanging, spending time, girl,  
><strong>__**Are we just friends?  
><strong>__**Is there more? Is there more?  
><strong>__**See it's a chance we've gotta take  
><strong>__**Cuz I believe that we can make this into  
><strong>__**Something that'll last, last forever, forever…**_

"I can't be just friends with you, Freddie," I tell him flat out. We're not loud enough that anyone can hear us and I'm appreciative for that.

His eyes look sad. "You don't want to be my friend anymore?

_**Do you ever think  
><strong>__**When you're all alone  
><strong>__**All that we could be?  
><strong>__**Where this thing could go?  
><strong>__**Am I crazy or falling in love?  
><strong>__**Is it real or just another crush?  
><strong>__**Do you catch your breath when I look at you?  
><strong>__**Are you holding back  
><strong>__**Like the way I do?  
><strong>__**Cuz I try and try to walk away,  
><strong>__**But I know this crush ain't going away.**_

I shake my head. "Trust me, I want to be your friend, and I wish that was all I felt for you, but I like you."

His eyes open a little wider. "Do you mean…"

The bridge starts again and I nod and continue.

"I want more. And I know that you can have your choice of any girl because you're gorgeous and super sweet and any girl would be lucky to have you, but I like you and I want you and-"

_**Why do I keep running from the truth?  
><strong>__**All I ever think about is you.  
><strong>__**You've got me hypnotized,  
><strong>__**So mesmerized,  
><strong>__**And I just got to know…**_

He interrupts me in the middle of my sentence by grabbing my face and pushing his lips to mine. I'm shocked, but I suddenly realize my dream has come true and I put my arms around his neck as his hands move down to my waist to hold me closer to him.

_**Do you ever think  
><strong>__**When you're all alone  
><strong>__**All that we could be?  
><strong>__**Where this thing could go?  
><strong>__**Am I crazy or falling in love?  
><strong>__**Is it real or just another crush?  
><strong>__**Do you catch your breath when I look at you?  
><strong>__**Are you holding back  
><strong>__**Like the way I do?  
><strong>__**Cuz I try and try to walk away,  
><strong>__**But I know this crush ain't going away.  
><strong>__**This crush ain't going away…**_

We pull away, only to hear Carly, Wendy, and a bunch of other people hooting, hollering, and clapping. I laugh and look down, touching my lips, embarrassed that everyone saw, and I feel my face get warm. I look back to him and smile, seeing his blush spread across his cheeks as well. He grins at me and puts his arm around my waist before whispering in my ear, "Let's blow this joint." We leave, avoiding eye contact with anyone else, but I glance at Carly, only to see her grinning wider than I've ever seen before.

I guess dances can have their good moments.


	7. A different Crush

**A/N: Yes, two songs named Crush. Lol, what are the chances that my iPod would be on shuffle in the Seddie playlist and those two songs came up next to each other? It's 1 out of 820. I'm a math major. I just did the math. Lol**

**Crush  
><strong>**Originally by Jennifer Paige, covered on Glee**

**Sam's POV**

Freddie Benson. I hate you. You make me have all these… feelings.

_**I see you blowing me a kiss,  
><strong>__**It doesn't take a scientist  
><strong>__**To understand what's going on, baby.**_

I know you like me, nub. I get it. But just because we've kissed a few times and flirted for years doesn't mean I'm just gonna suddenly change my philosophy and date you. I have a plan. I can like you from afar. But nothing else!

_**If you see something in my eyes,  
><strong>__**Let's not overanalyze.  
><strong>__**Don't go too deep with it, baby.**_

If I flirt back or wink at you, I'm not asking you out or confessing my love for you! Can you just go back to being obsessed with Carly? It would make this whole "fighting my attraction for you" thing a lot easier for me.

_**So let it be what it'll be.  
><strong>__**Don't make a fuss and  
><strong>__**Get crazy over you and me.  
><strong>__**Here's what I'll do.  
><strong>__**I'll play loose.  
><strong>__**Not like we have a date with destiny.**_

No one has to know, though, if we make out in the janitor's closet. And we can go to the movies as friends and sit in the last aisle and act like more than friends.

_**It's just a little crush.  
><strong>__**Not like I faint every time we touch.  
><strong>__**It's just some little thing.  
><strong>__**Not like everything I do  
><strong>__**Depends on you.**_

Get off your high horse, Benson. What, you think that just because a bunch of our stupid twelve year old fans think you're hot, I'm suddenly gonna be all over you. You're cute, I'll admit, but jeez, chill out.

_**It's raising my adrenaline,  
><strong>__**You're banging on a heart of tin.  
><strong>__**Please don't make too much of it baby.**_

Okay, maybe there's a little more to the reason of why I won't date you. After everything I've been through, with Jonah and Pete and having to deal with you mooning over Carly for years… I don't know how much more pain my heart can take. What if you finally get me and suddenly it was only the chase for you? If you have what you want, you won't want it anymore.

_**You say the word "forevermore."  
><strong>__**That's not what I'm looking for.  
><strong>__**All I can commit to is "maybe."**_

So I'm avoiding any opportunity for that. We won't date, and I won't be humiliated when my heart gets broken. I like you… a lot… but I can't devote myself to someone who hated me one year, then loved me the next.

_**It's just a little crush.  
><strong>__**Not like I faint every time we touch.  
><strong>__**It's just some little thing.  
><strong>__**Not like everything I do  
><strong>__**Depends on you.**_

Okay, I get it, song. You don't have to keep reminding me I have a crush.

_**Vanilla skies, white picket fences in your eyes.  
><strong>__**A vision of you and me.**_

Oh, that does sound nice…

_**It's just a little crush.  
><strong>__**Not like I faint every time we touch.  
><strong>__**It's just some little thing.  
><strong>__**Not like everything I do  
><strong>__**Depends on you.**_

… Maybe one date with you won't kill me.


	8. Foreign Language

**Foreign Language  
><strong>**By Anberlin**

**Freddie's POV**

_**Boys speak in rhythm, and girls in code.  
><strong>__**Tell it to me straight, give it to me now.  
><strong>__**Face forward. Face forward.**_

I try to make how I feel very clear. For years I told Carly straight out that I loved her, no matter how idiotic it was or how much you made fun of me for it. And now, my feelings have flipped and you're the object of my affection. I think I've made it clear how I feel. And I think maybe you feel the same way.

_**Speaking foreign language,  
><strong>__**Nothing I can translate.  
><strong>__**Speaking foreign language,  
><strong>__**Nothing I can dictate.  
><strong>__**You're speaking foreign language.**_

But the way you talk around me and talk to me… I can't translate it. I like to believe you don't really hate me as much as you always claimed you do, and actually, I hope you don't hate me at all. I can't tell the honest truth, though. Your poker face is stone-cold and I can't crack it.

_**Boys speak in rhythm, and girls just lie.  
><strong>__**Tell me how you feel. Come out of the dark.  
><strong>__**Then we can head back home,  
><strong>__**And I'll know where to start.**_

I try to be soft and smooth and make you feel the need to be honest with me, but you just lie. I look back and I have a feeling that you're in the same boat as me: in love with someone you never thought you would be. If that's true, then stop lying so we can be happy together. Wouldn't you rather be happy with me than miserable in lonely silence? I know I would be.

We could be a real couple if you'd let go of your pride for thirty seconds and tell me the completely honest truth of what you feel for me. Then I'd grab you close to me and kiss you, showing every emotion in that one moment, and we wouldn't have to speak in code anymore. We could finally say "I love you" instead of "I hate you."

_**Speaking foreign language.  
><strong>__**Nothing I can translate.  
><strong>__**You're speaking foreign language.  
><strong>__**Nothing I can dictate.  
><strong>__**You're speaking foreign language.**_

Sam, I know we weren't always the closest friends at the beginning, but it's so many years later now. I got over whatever stupid school-boy crush I had on Carly and realized my real love for you, and you've stopped biting people for no reason. We've both matured quite a bit.

_**Nothing I can translate.  
><strong>__**You're speaking foreign language.  
><strong>__**Where did we go wrong?  
><strong>__**We need medication for this miscommunication.  
><strong>__**Where did we go wrong?  
><strong>__**Our conversation's weakened.**_

Stop speaking in code and be honest with yourself… and with me.

_**Boys speak in rhythm, and girls in code.  
><strong>__**Boys speak in rhythm and girls just lie.**_


	9. A Day Late

**A Day Late  
><strong>**By Anberlin**

**(There's an acoustic version of this song as well as the original. Either one works. But since this is from Sam's POV, I feel like the original one has more appropriate passion. Lol, also, iOMG, iLost My Mind, and all the future episodes where Sam and Freddie are dating didn't happen in this one. It's not the typical Seddie fic, but this is my favorite one I've written so far.)**

**Sam's POV**

_**So let me get this straight.  
><strong>__**You say now you loved me all along.  
><strong>__**What made you hesitate  
><strong>__**To tell me with words what you really feel.**_

Are you fucking serious, Freddie? After all those years of me wishing it was me you loved, putting on a strong face when you kissed your girlfriend in the hallways at school, crying myself to sleep because you didn't feel the same way for me, you're crawling back now, telling me that you actually did love me back? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

_**I can see it in your eyes: You mean all of what you say.  
><strong>__**I remember so long ago, see I felt that same way.**_

I loved you so much, more than I could bear, but you didn't feel the same way, so I was the strong Puckett girl that everyone knew me to be, and I put on a plastic happy face and moved on. I tried so hard, and now here you are, making me realize that trying to move on was pointless because we could have been together all this time? Why are you doing this to me?

_**Now we both have separate lives and lovers.  
><strong>__**Insignificantly enough, we both have significant others.**_

I'm with someone else now: a great guy who loves every part of me, even the bad parts. His name is David. He wasn't a coward; he told me how he felt. We were friends first, then he told me he thought he might like me and he wanted to date me for a little to see if we both liked the idea, and we went out, and we liked it, and we've been together for 6 months now. He's a great guy, and I'm happy with him.

Oh yeah, and how's Carly? Yeah, your girlfriend. Did you forget about her in this little confession of yours? You're with someone, Freddie, and she doesn't deserve to be stabbed in the back like this. She finally realized what a great guy you are and started dating you our senior year of high school and as hurt as I was, I was happy for you guys because I knew you were happy together.

And I didn't feel betrayed, because neither of you knew how I felt. That's right, she's my best friend and I never breathed a word of how I felt about you. Now it's the summer after our freshmen year of college, and you two are still together, yet here you are, telling me that I'm the one you really love. This isn't fair to me, Freddie, and it's especially not fair to poor Carly.

_**Only time will tell.  
><strong>__**Time will turn and tell.**_

_**We are who we were when  
><strong>__**Could've been lovers, but at least you're still my day late friend.  
><strong>__**We are who, we are who we were when  
><strong>__**Who knew what we'd know now.  
><strong>__**Could've been more, but at least you're still my day late friend.  
><strong>__**We are who, we are who we were when.**_

There's a part of me that's happy with this closure, but that's all this is. I'm not leaving my boyfriend and hurting my best friend's feelings just to chase after a once-passionate dream of being with you as the girl you loved. I finally know that it's not that I did anything wrong that made you not like me; instead, it turns out I did everything right and it was just never the right time for us.

_**But thoughts they change and times they rearrange.  
><strong>__**I don't know who you are anymore.  
><strong>__**Loves come and go and this I know,  
><strong>__**I'm not who you recall anymore.**_

I'm not the same girl I was in high school. I've matured. I know better than to drop things for something that might be nice, but is more likely to come back and bite me in the ass. You're not the nerdy tech boy I loved back then; you've changed. I can't put my finger on it, but you're not the same. Maybe it's because now you're looking at me with a face of earnest longing, hoping that I'll run away with you.

_**But I must confess you're so much more than I remember.  
><strong>__**Can't help but entertain these thoughts, thoughts of us together.**_

I had endless silly daydreams of us walking hand-in-hand, of us listening to music on your bed together, of me walking down a church aisle to meet you. My dress was going to be strapless and cream-colored; not quite white, but could be mistaken for it in the wrong light. It was going to have red lacing down the back and red flowers stitched along the bottom. It's a little shiny, but not blinding. It reaches the floor and has a short foot-long train, but I won't kill myself by tripping over it. It was beautiful, but not the stereotypical fruity poofy wedding dress every girl wants. I remember falling in love with the picture and I imagined you'd fall even more in love with me when you saw me walking towards you in it. Oh well. Too late now. If only you weren't my day late.

_**We are who we were when  
><strong>__**Could've been lovers, but at least you're still my day late friend.  
><strong>__**We are who, we are who we were when  
><strong>__**Who knew what we'd know now.  
><strong>__**Could've been more, but at least you're still my day late friend.  
><strong>__**We are who, we are who we were when.**_

Don't try to make me feel bad about this, about turning you down. I'm not being selfish; in fact, for the first time, I'm thinking of other people. I'm thinking of Carly and how devastated she'd be. After all the jackasses she's dated, she deserves someone like you who will love her and be her rock. I'm thinking of David and how confused and upset he'll be. He likes my craziness, since it's a fun crazy that won't kill him in his sleep. I'm his loving, goofy, crazy girlfriend, and he likes me that way. I can't just drop him.

And I'm thinking of you. You say after all these years, you still want me. But what about when you finally get what you want? Will you be as happy as you expect yourself to be, or will you just be guilty? I'm not as perfect as the image of me you have in your head. Maybe I look the same, but have you blocked out the abuse I put you through? I meant it flirtatiously, but you won't like it anymore if we start dating. And even if we were dating, I wouldn't stop. Wouldn't even ease up. I'm not perfect, I know I'm not, but I'm just imperfect enough for you to see my flaws once you have me fully vulnerable to you.

_**So let me get this straight.  
><strong>__**All these years and you were nowhere to be found.  
><strong>__**And now you want me for your own.  
><strong>__**But you're a day late and my love, [he's] still renowned.**_

I love David. He's not you, but I love him and he loves me. Maybe I'll marry him, maybe we'll only last a few more months, but he worked up the courage to win me over. He tamed Shakespeare's Shrew and I'm his until we're done.

_**We are who we were when  
><strong>__**Could've been lovers, but at least you're still my day late friend.  
><strong>__**We are who, we are who we were when  
><strong>__**Who knew what we'd know now.  
><strong>__**Could've been more, but at least you're still my day late friend.  
><strong>__**We are who, we are who we were when.**_

I love you, Freddie. More than you can ever believe. But I can't do this.

I'm not going to run away with you. You should go home to Carly.


	10. Everything I Ask For

**Everything I Ask For  
><strong>**By the Maine**

**(Oh my god, thank you all so much! I got such amazing reviews on "A Day Late" and I just love that people really read the stuff I put out there. :D ****This one's a little more sexual than the other ones, but that's because this song is more sexual than the others. Lol)**

**Freddie's POV**

_**She takes her time with the little things,  
><strong>__**Love notes reminding me.  
><strong>__**She wears red when she's feeling so hot.  
><strong>__**I have her, but it's all I've got.**_

I still can't believe, even after all these years, that she's mine. I somehow tamed the wild beast and made her fall in love with me. I'm so lucky. She does things everyday that drives me absolutely crazy, but she's still perfect. She's all mine, and if I lose everything else in my life, all I need is her to keep me going.

_**She looks best without her clothes.  
><strong>__**I know it's wrong, but that's the way it goes.**_

Hey, I'm a guy. I like the way she looks. Actually, scratch that. I _love_ the way she looks. She's hands-down the prettiest girl I've ever known, much less dated. It's kind of ironic that I call her my blonde-headed demon when she looks like an angel. She jokingly slaps me when I check her out, but I can't help it; my eyes are just drawn to her. I always loved her hair, her face, her curves… then when we'd been together for a while and we took things to the next level, I saw that all the parts of her I hadn't seen yet were just as gorgeous as what I saw everyday. High-five, 14-year-old me!

_**I don't know what she sees in me,  
><strong>__**But I'm happy that she's happy now  
><strong>__**That she's with me,  
><strong>__**And I'm freaking out,  
><strong>__**Because I'm just so lucky.**_

Not only did I win her over, but I've kept her for this long. We've been together six years. We just graduated college last year and live together now. She really is all mine, and I want it to be that way forever.

_**Oh she makes me feel like shit,  
><strong>__**But I can't get over it.  
><strong>__**She's everything I ask for, everything I ask for,  
><strong>__**And just a little bit more.  
><strong>__**Everything I ask for, everything I ask for,  
><strong>__**And so much more.**_

Yes, she still calls me names on a daily basis, and yes, she still abuses me when she feels like I deserve it. But I'm blind to any bruises or hurt feelings I get from it all. She's all my favorite qualities wrapped up into one woman, and it's all I ever wanted.

_**She loves music, but she hates my band.  
><strong>__**Loves Prince, she's his biggest fan.  
><strong>__**She's not big on holding hands,  
><strong>__**But that's alright, cuz I've still got her.**_

She dances around our apartment like a crazy person. She's been jokingly asking me to set up the sound system so she can press a button and play "Random Dancing" whenever she wants. I'm tempted to do it, just because I know it'd make her laugh wildly that I actually did it.

She's also not the PDA type, not that that ever surprised me. Even with her boyfriends before me, she was never very affectionate in public, and I know she was really embarrassed when I kissed her on iCarly when we were at Troubled Waters, even if it did ultimately push us to be a real couple. She looks lovingly at me and sometimes mouths to me that she loves me, maybe even occasionally rubs my back or pulls my arm around her, but that's the most. I don't care if the world can't immediately tell we're together; we're happy even if others don't know, and that's good enough for me. Besides, she can be very affectionate when we're away from the eyes of other people, if you catch my drift.

_**She keeps up on current affairs.  
><strong>__**Prada is what she wears.  
><strong>__**I don't know what she sees in me,  
><strong>__**But I'm happy that she's happy, yeah,  
><strong>__**And that she's with me,  
><strong>__**And I'm freaking out because I'm just so lucky.**_

Yeah, I'm sure there are plenty of better-looking guys out there, and I'm not a saint or anything, but she still likes me. AHAHAHAHA! Hear that, guys who drool over her? She's mine, guys! I got her! I don't know how, but I did, and who am I to object to her decision?

_**Fist fights turn into sex.  
><strong>__**I wonder what comes next.  
><strong>__**She loves to always keep me guessing.**_

I'm on the edge of my seat every second, and I never know what's coming next. Will she hate me or love me today? When she comes to wake me up, will she slap me and yell at me or will she kiss my neck and rub herself against me? I won't complain about anything, because I know she does it all out of genuine love. She bruises me to mark me as her own. She kisses me and makes love to me tenderly to remind me why I want her to be the woman I wake up to everyday for the rest of my life.

_**And she won't give it up  
><strong>__**And we both know it's because  
><strong>__**  
><strong>__**Oh she makes me feel like shit,  
><strong>__**But I can't get over it.  
><strong>__**She's everything I ask for, everything I ask for,  
><strong>__**And just a little bit more.  
><strong>__**Everything I ask for, everything I ask for,  
><strong>__**And just a little bit more.  
><strong>__**Everything I ask for, everything I ask for,  
><strong>__**And so much more.  
><strong>__**Everything I ask for, everything I ask for,  
><strong>__**And so much more.**_

She's perfect, and she's mine. I now give you permission to be jealous.


	11. Don't Let Your Enemies Become Friends

**Don't Let Your Enemies Become Friends  
><strong>**By The Spill Canvas**

**Sam's POV  
><strong>**(After iOMG, before iLost My Mind)**

_**Blacked out fallen on the floor tonight.  
><strong>__**That's what I do to feel the light.  
><strong>__**You tell the open line that draws me in.**_

I'm hanging on my little thread, dangling in front of you. It's the unfortunate effect you have on me, and always have had on me.

I genuinely hated you at the beginning. And believe it or not, it wasn't because you're a nub. You are a nub, don't get me wrong; that just wasn't why I hated you. You were constantly fighting for Carly's attention, always wanting to take her with you and ride off into the sunset. Well, if she goes with you into the sunset, where does that leave me? In the slowly dimming lights, all alone and cold. She's the only person who sees value in me. She sees more than just the punk who gets what she wants, not always by using the most moral methods.

_**Every time I sink a little lower in the deep tonight,  
><strong>__**I don't remember anything I used to like about you  
><strong>__**And why I always let you in.**_

But Carly wanted me to be nicer to you. When you dumped iCarly for Valerie's webshow, then came back, asking for me to recognize you as a big part of iCarly, I did it because we needed you. Then stupid Carly was like, "It was so sweet! Can't you be nicer to Freddie? It'll make life a lot easier for everyone." She kept asking, and gave me the Bambi eyes and said, "For me?" And you know as well as anyone else that nobody can say no to the Bambi eyes. So I tried to be nicer. I still called you names, of course, but I stopped giving you wedgies, stopped torturing you. (Physically, anyways. Unless you deserved it.)

_**And as the saying goes,  
><strong>__**Don't let your enemies become friends.**_

Then… I don't know how it happened, but all of a sudden you grew up. Puberty hit you like a train and one day, your voice got lower and suddenly you were taller than me and you were getting muscular. Somewhere along the line, you got hot, and as much as I hated to admit it, I noticed. And I liked it. And when I got to kiss you, I was nervous, but then I just felt like the luckiest girl in the world that I was the one you had chosen to steal your kiss virginity.

Then we actually became friends. It wasn't me _trying_ to be nicer to you; it was just automatic. We started hanging out without Carly. We could make each other laugh. And when you let me punch your backpack when I was mad about Briggs and Howard becoming principals, and when you flat-out said you considered us good friends in your speech at my birthday party, I knew I didn't hate you anymore and that you didn't hate me.

And then it started being difficult to be around you because I couldn't think straight. I couldn't form proper sentences or contribute useful statements to the conversation. My mind always trailed off to how I looked as soon as you'd turn the corner. I started wearing makeup and cuter clothes and I wore my hair differently, and I hoped you'd notice. I wanted to see you throughout the day. Did you know I changed the way I walked to class just so I could see you? I'd make sure I took a path that walked me past your classroom or locker. When you were at your locker, I'd stop and say hi and we'd walk a little way together. You'd smile when you saw me and it made walking longer ways worth it.

I was falling for you, or maybe I had already fallen. I guess this is why they say, "Don't let your enemies become friends."

_**For the record, I never wanted this.  
><strong>__**For the record, I wish we never met and opened up this mess.**_

I didn't mean to kiss you. But you and Carly had been talking to me all night about making a move and going for what I want and showing how I feel, and I couldn't deny those brown eyes of yours. I stared into them during your entire speech, and it was the first time I knew for sure: I was in love with you. Not a stupid crush, but real love.

So I grabbed you and kissed you. And it opened up a giant fucking can of worms. I started a huge mess because I was sure you didn't like me back. I really wish I hadn't done it.

_**I couldn't keep up, so we cracked down,  
><strong>__**And now everything is worse.  
><strong>__**I should have known; I'm better off on the floor alone.  
><strong>__**Sometimes closure doesn't close up anything at all.**_

I'm not the princess in this story; Carly is. And you're the knight. And we all know that the knight and the princess end up together, while the lady-in-waiting waves a handkerchief as they ride away on his steed. I'm not going to win you, as I've known from the beginning. But I snapped and couldn't hide my feelings anymore, and I hoped doing it would be worth it and I could get you after all. But all you had to say was, "It's cool."

And here I lie, hiding under my covers in Troubled Waters Mental Hospital, crying like the stupid girly girl you turned me into. Crying because I let down my walls, crying because I'm totally insane… crying because you didn't kiss me back like I thought you might, fulfilling the small glimmer of hope that kissing you wasn't completely moronic.


	12. I Won't Say I'm in Love

**I Won't Say I'm in Love  
><strong>**From Disney's "Hercules"**

**(Yes, I do see the irony of using a Disney song to describe a couple on Nickelodeon. Lol, and yes, I actually have this song on my iPod. I always feel like such a beast, walking to class, listening to Disney songs.)**

**(In the song, Meg's parts, in bold, are like what Sam would say, and the Muses, in **_**bold and italics,**_** are what Carly would say.)**

**Sam's POV (talking to Carly)**

So I have a bit of a problem.

**If there's a prize for rotten judgment,  
><strong>**I guess I've already won that.  
><strong>**No man is worth the aggravation.  
><strong>**That's ancient history. Been there, done that.**

Yeah, I don't have the best track record. Jonah was… well, an ass. I didn't show it to you and Freddie, but I was really hurt by Jonah trying to kiss you. I put on a brave "Oh well" face and pretended like the revenge made me feel all better, and while it did feel awesome putting him on the Wedgie Bounce, I still cried myself to sleep that night. The first guy I really liked went after my best friend. The worst part is that the entire time, I constantly asked myself, "Why did he ask me out? Is this real? How am I this lucky to get a guy like him?" And even you were like, "He likes you! He wanted to ask you out!" And I really let myself believe it. Then it turned out that I was excited over nothing.

Then with Pete, he was nice enough, but he only noticed me after I started dressing pretty for him. Plus, he was a moron. I knew that fact, but I didn't think it would bother me as much as it did. But after a week, we were out of things to talk about. I wasn't even that upset about it. I could go back to dressing like me, and that definitely made me happy.

_**Who you think you're kidding?  
><strong>__**He's the earth and heaven to you.  
><strong>__**Try to keep it hidden.  
><strong>__**Honey, we can see right through you.  
><strong>__**Girl, you can't conceal it.  
><strong>__**We know how you feel and  
><strong>__**Who you're thinking of.**_

You can't prove anything. I'm not gonna say it, so you may as well stop bothering me about it. Besides, boys are stupid. I'm thinking of becoming a nun. But I don't think abbeys have very good food…

**No chance, no way.  
><strong>**I won't say it, oh no.**

I'm not going to admit it. Especially if that crush were annoying and stupid and a nub…

_**You swoon, you sigh. Why deny it? Oh oh.  
><strong>_**It's too cliché.  
><strong>**I won't say I'm in love.**

I'm a Puckett! Pucketts don't fall in love. It's just the natural order of things. And besides, I hardly act like a girl in any other aspect; you can't really expect me to suddenly be all giggly and girly and in love and… well, you. No offense, Carly, but when it comes to romance, you're mega girly. Besides, it's not like he'd ever like me back…

**I thought my heart had learned its lesson.  
><strong>**It feels so good when you start out.  
><strong>**My heart is screaming "Get a grip, girl,  
><strong>**Unless you're dying to cry your heart out."**

He likes you, Carly. He always has. I couldn't suddenly say, "Oh, yeah, by the way, after years of bullying you, it turns out I'm actually kind of head over heels for you." It just not wouldn't work. He'd feel awkward, he'd go to talk to you about it, and he'd be horrified by the idea that I ever thought I could steal his heart from you. I don't want you to feel bad, girl; it's just the way things are. We all sometimes get crushes on people who don't like us back.

_**You keep on denying  
><strong>__**Who you are and how you're feeling.  
><strong>__**Baby, we're not buying.  
><strong>__**Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling.  
><strong>__**Face it like a grown-up.  
><strong>__**When you gonna own up  
><strong>__**That you've got, got, got it bad.**_

It's just not fair! I know you can read me like a book, but admitting out loud how I feel? That's just horrible. If I do that, I'm recognizing that these stupid romantic feelings I have around him are real, and I can't do that.

**No chance, no way.  
><strong>**I won't say it, oh no.  
><strong>_**Give up or give in.  
><strong>__**Check the grin, you're in love.  
><strong>_**This scene won't play.  
><strong>**I won't say I'm in love.**

This can't happen. It's not fair! I don't want this. I want to go back to hating him. Remember how nice that was?

**You're way off base.  
><strong>**I won't say it.  
><strong>**Get off my case.  
><strong>**I won't say it.  
><strong>_**Girl, don't be proud.  
><strong>__**It's okay; you're in love.  
><strong>__**  
><strong>_**At least out loud,  
><strong>**I won't say I'm in love.**

I can't say it out loud, and I most definitely won't tell him. I'd rather love silently than lose him forever in the embarrassment that's bound to follow his rejection.


	13. Landing Feet First

**Landing Feet First  
><strong>**By Bayside**

**Freddie's POV**

I know I haven't been around for a while. I've only been home a handful of times since leaving for school. And I am sorry about that, but I don't want you to think that my physical absence means I've forgotten about you. You never once left my mind.

_**If our world falls down tomorrow,  
><strong>__**You be sure I'll be there with a net  
><strong>__**To catch the pieces falling,  
><strong>__**And I was always there.  
><strong>__**And I was always there.**_

And I'll always be there. Never doubt it. You've called me at some random times to rant or talk about even more random subjects, but I don't care if it's 2 am. You can call me anytime you want to, and I welcome your calls. My whole life gets better when I see your name on the screen on my phone when you call or text me.

_**I was always there,  
><strong>__**But you just never knew where.**_

You know, I never changed the background picture on my computer. It's still a picture of you drinking your smoothie, the one that you set as my background when you hacked my computer while I was showering. I couldn't bring myself to change it. As much as I missed you while I was at school, that picture always made me smile and reminded me of how much I love you. I never truly left; my heart was always yours.

_**Ay-oh, ay-oh,  
><strong>__**I hope you weren't waiting long.  
><strong>__**I hope this night makes up for time lost.  
><strong>__**Ay-oh, ay-oh,  
><strong>__**Feels like I met you years ago  
><strong>__**And we're picking up right where we left off.**_

I don't regret going to film school in L.A. I love what I do. But at the same time, I wish I wasn't so far away from you. I hated breaking up with you during the summer before we went off to college, even if it was a mutual breakup. We didn't want to be tied down to someone we'd hardly get to see. I understand why we had to do it, but I hated it. And I think you did too.

_**I've considered what it'd be like  
><strong>__**If the ocean poured in from both of the coasts**__**  
>And we set sail to find out<br>**__**Just where our boat would go.**_

If that were to happen, I'd call you to be in my boat immediately. It doesn't matter where that boat ends up, as long as I'd be with you.

_**But I don't think that I'd want to know.**_

_**Cuz it would just make times where I can see your smile  
><strong>__**With our brand new life in tow.**_

The idea of having a life with you is a dream I've had for years. I want you to be mine and only mine forever. I can't imagine going a day without seeing your smile. I see it every time I open my laptop, but it's not the same. I want to wake up next to your smile, kiss your smile good morning, and hear your smile tell me how your day went.

_**Ay-oh, ay-oh,  
><strong>__**I hope you weren't waiting long.  
><strong>__**I hope this night makes up for time lost.  
><strong>__**Ay-oh, ay-oh,  
><strong>__**Feels like I met you years ago  
><strong>__**And we're picking up right where we left off.  
><strong>__**Right where we left off.**_

_**And if I'm on the road  
><strong>__**For another thousand years or so,  
><strong>__**I hope you know a part of me is at home.**_

My heart is with you. Always. I haven't even noticed other girls at school. They seem to notice me, but they're not you. None of them are you. They can't even compare.

_**I traded brick for straw  
><strong>__**In the house I built around my heart,  
><strong>__**So when you came, it wouldn't be so tough.  
><strong>__**No "huff-and-puff" could dismantle us.  
><strong>__**No "huff-and-puff" could dismantle us.**_

I put up walls around me when I left; I didn't want to be so weak without you. But today, I graduated from college. I'm moving back to Seattle tomorrow night, and I'm bringing my walls back down.

_**Ay-oh, ay-oh,  
><strong>__**I hope you weren't waiting long.  
><strong>__**I hope this night makes up for time lost.  
><strong>__**Ay-oh, ay-oh,  
><strong>__**Feels like I met you years ago  
><strong>__**And we're picking up right where we left off.  
><strong>__**Right where we left off.**_

Because I'm gonna get you back. There's no reason for us to be unhappy anymore. We're two halves of a whole and we've been missing our other half for four years. We'll be complete once we're back in each other's arms.


	14. I Hate Everything About You

**A/N: So on Saturday, Sam and Freddie broke up, then on Sunday night, almost exactly 24 hours later, my boyfriend broke up with me. Here's an angry songfic that gets my shitty weekend off my chest. -_-**

**I Hate Everything About You  
><strong>**By Three Days Grace**

**Freddie's POV**

_**Every time we lie awake,  
><strong>__**After every hit we take,  
><strong>__**Every feeling that I get,  
><strong>__**But I haven't missed you yet.**_

God, I hate you. All these things that you make me feel… The anger, the frustration, the embarrassment… and yet on top of that, I feel the love, the endearment, the attraction.

_**Every roommate kept awake  
><strong>__**By every sigh and scream we make,  
><strong>__**All the feelings that I get,  
><strong>__**But I still don't miss you yet.**_

I know we don't belong together. We shouldn't want to be together; this was our worst nightmare for all those years, before we grew up and got… _those_ emotions.

We agreed we'd break up at midnight, so instead of being a little bitch and whining about it, I use that anger for how much I love you and throw you against the wall of the elevator and capture your mouth with mine. I can't deny how fucking hot I find you. I mean, I'm a guy. I'm not oblivious to how perfect your curves are… NO! This is why I can't stand you and your manipulation. You make me so confused.

_**Only when I stop to think about it…**_

_**I hate everything about you.  
><strong>__**Why do I love you?  
><strong>__**I hate everything about you.  
><strong>__**Why do I love you?**_

Sam Puckett, I always hated you, and a big part of me still does. But I realized I'm mature enough to accept who you are and I could learn to love you despite it. And that's what I did. Now here you are, telling me it's over between us because you don't think we "click." Yeah, I put on the sweet "I just want you to be happy" face and say bullshit like "Feels like it" when you ask if we just broke up, but on the inside, I want to die. I don't know who I'm angrier at: you for giving up on us, or me for getting so attached.

_**Every time we lie awake,  
><strong>__**After every hit we take,  
><strong>__**Every feeling that I get,  
><strong>__**But I haven't missed you yet.**_

All those times we shared… the laughs, the smiles, the secret gazes that said so much that nobody else can understand: did they mean nothing to you? We are perfect together. Just because we were friends first doesn't mean we're trying to force our connection into a romantic relationship. You're just nervous about my mom and the kids at school and Carly and Spencer and what they all think. That's not ending it for our benefit; that's being a coward.

I hitch one of your legs around my hip, pulling you closer to me. You moan and wrap your arms tighter around my neck. I only have an hour and a half left; gotta make the best of it. I'll make sure you miss me late at night when you don't have someone to make you feel like this. Maybe you don't think we "click," but I definitely have some use if you're enjoying my hands and mouth so much.

_**Only when I stop to think about it…**_

_**I hate everything about you.  
><strong>__**Why do I love you?  
><strong>__**I hate everything about you.  
><strong>__**Why do I love you?**_

… I said I love you. I wasn't lying, but why oh why did I say it? And right after we broke up? I'm an idiot apparently. And then you said it back, and as happy as I was to hear it, it broke my heart at the same time, because come midnight, we'll be broken up officially and I'll be so desperately in love with you still and I'll know you love me too, but I won't be able to do anything.

_**Only when I stop to think about you  
><strong>__**I know.  
><strong>__**Only when you stop to think about me  
><strong>__**Do you know?**_

_**I hate everything about you.  
><strong>__**Why do I love you?  
><strong>__**You hate everything about me.  
><strong>__**Why do you love me?**_

I may or may not have just ripped your shirt a little bit trying to bite at your neck. It could have been worse; I could have ripped it off entirely like I want to do with every fiber of my being. Imagine explaining that to Carly. For the remaining hour and a half of this day, you're still my sexy-as-hell girlfriend, and I will make the most of it before I remember how much I hate you for giving up on us.

_**I hate  
><strong>__**You hate  
><strong>__**I hate  
><strong>__**You love me.**_

_**I hate everything about you.  
><strong>__**Why do I love you?**_

I hate you, Sam Puckett. But damn it if I don't love you even more.


End file.
